Amanda had labor induced, although I wish I could have done a natural inducement for her, and had her baby girl 18 hours ago about 6 in the morning. I'm painting her place, just painted the floor (it's concrete). And have to fix the thin pink she painted on the bedroom walls. She's prone to depression, and is already turned off to men for relationships, mostly due to Josh, the asshole sperm donor. She has false hope in him, and she's above that, and I can see how women get a tainted view of us guys with the bad selection so prominent in the South.
I think I'm more in love with being a father than anything else, and would love to go tribal and be the male element in a communal extended family of these beautiful women I love. I know what I like in a woman, and see so much of what I like and love in Judy and Sarah and Amanda. If I could get them to accept the notion of sharing a decent guy, man we could all have a great life together.
I know it isn't traditional in the least, but when I see Sarah with her beautiful girls and Chris, who is such an asshole who places drugs before his family and treats Sarah like shit, or Josh, who is selfish and self-centered and can't see that wonderful woman he has, and see her slip into depression because she gives so much and gets so little back, I want to step in and fill that role, and the weird thing is I want Judy to share it with me, being the matriarch and lady sage to them.
Thing is getting Judy to see how that would benefit her, and if we can cast gender aside in the bedroom and let love and passion flow as it could, there would be wonder and glory in loving each other as friends, companions, and lovers.
Each one has elements that complete the others, and ways to take up the slack, and also inspire and motivate me to give more than I ever could without that motivation. They would all wind yup with a man who would give them love and passion and devotion, and they would have in each other sisters who are best friends who fill in the gaps they have and make life easy for each other.
Sex I could get anywhere. I could get one night stands or even be like the rest of Jacksonville and buy it, but that isn't me and never will be. So is it sex that I want, or the role of SuperDad? I think it is more being the hero, being seen by women I love and like and think deserve better and being that for them, and having the love of kids who look up to me.....
Sex would be nice, but it has to be with women I love and desire because of what they are in their hearts and minds.
Anyway, life could be better, and I have to find a way to make it what I know will be best for all of us.