Sarah was over today helping clean the house. We all got it better than it has been in a while, but still not what I'd like. Judy set out a fake set of methadones and counted them very carefully, and one went missing. Sarah asked for one for Chris, which we said no to. We love her, but this pilfering a little at a time is bullshit. My wallet, Judy's pills, and other little things vanish, and maybe if she wasn't always so without and so desperate maybe she'd not steal, but even a little is too much, and there sometimes just isn't anyone else who would or had the chance, and things just do not vanish into thin air.
We understand and feel sorry for her, but this shit has got to stop. I know it is a hard thing to have nothing and no way to get anything, and being addicted to that shit is hell, but she needs to make some changes. We are the best friends she really has, and that is why I want what I want out of a extended family and two wife house, because it would solve those problems for her and be an asset and big motivation thing for Judy. Life would just be better.
I haven't seen Amanda or the baby yet, but really want to, and hope to tomorrow. That's another one that would blend just too well. I know it sounds greedy and all, and maybe part of it is... well, no maybe, but it also means a lot more on my head and more shit to deal with. I just see it working better, life working better. I was meant to lead a tribal clan sort of thing, and sometimes more is better.
Sarah gives glances sometimes, between us, that I know she'd be so down with it, but Judy has to assert that it would be okay before Sarah comes off of it. I respect that she doesn't want to hurt Judy or the friendship that has grown there, but her stealing and being lazy or selfish does that as well, but that is her shortcomings, and Judy and I have ones of our own as well, so we can't pass judgement ourselves because we know her heart is more loving and good than her actions. Love is acceptance, and I think we all could share a great life.
Today was a great example of how the house I want us to be would work, and it would.