Today wasn't bad. Sarah, Judy and I went to Dr. Day, so the junkie twins have pills now, and Sarah tried to get extra for Chris, and Judy and I are both pissed by that because Chris sucks, and I will be damned if her gets any, ever. But he gives her shit because he knows we'll help her out but not him. I was at the computer today and I made a crack about being God because I have control of the pills and Judy was in the kitchen and I whispered to Sarah that she said "Oh, God" kinda much when I went down on her and she shot me a bird, with a smirk letting me know I got that one, and kinda, I think, to let me know that yes, I got that one.
And tonight Judy actually allowed me to get a finger up her ass and masturbated for me while she sucked my dick. She is EXACTLY the kind of woman who would love to suck a dick while she gets fucked, and maybe even go all the way out for airtight. If I can reawaken the freaky whore that resides in all women in her maybe we can have that wild side stuff together. I love my wife, and don't want it all the time, but sometimes I'd love it, and a big part of the reason is I love seeing women, especially ones I love, go into a frenzy state.
Now if I could just get her to freak a little with Sarah, and that will take Sarah coming clean on how she feels for me, Judy and I together, and just asking to share me sometimes and join Judy and I, which is the terms I want any of it on anyway.
I want that level of honesty and erotic friendship with my wife as my partner. Things will be hard for a while, but if I can keep everything together until shit falls our way I think Sarah will come along with us. I know she wants to. I really believe Judy would let friendship go in that direction and include some passion, and would be just as fulfilled by it all if Sarah can just make the decision to get away from dickhead once and for all. She needs a stronger spine, and man they really do need to be a team and be the strength for each other where they are weak.
Like tonight would have been a perfect night to be with both, either together or with one first then the other, and I really do need two or three orgasms to sleep as well as I like. But I can feel in my mind's eye how sleeping, and I mean sleeping as in the thing you collapse into after sex, with both of them would be.
The seed of those ideas just might be growing in Judy, as I am sure they are in Sarah. The love I have with Sarah really does make the love I have for my wife stronger. I just wish they both could just get the words out there so they can be acted upon, and do so so honestly that it has to be tried.
I'm also wondering what is up with Amanda, and how close she is to dropping. Besides how well she would fit in as a fourth, or third wheel, I think she is way mature and has loads of sense, just lack experience. I also think she would do well to stick close to us, because there is loyal friendship that comes from Judy and I. despite Judy's many flaws that frustrate me and anger me to no end, she really is good hearted and decent. It isn't for lack of desire that things aren't how I want them, even from her. It is what I love most in her.