and here's the funny part.....

I wasn't really that happy today. Yeah it was Mother's Day, but Judy hasn't acted in a way lately much where I feel she deserved any special treatment. She has been leaving dirty dishes, dirty floors, unkept everything, and pumping out excuses right and left. I can work until I ache and am burnt red by the sun, and she does nothing to help much, and yes, she has behaved in ways that have fucked up Alex, and he sees it clearly.
I bitch about a lot, but I am justified in what I bitch about. I don't complain about what I am lacking or don't have that much, but about others not doing their part or even trying to do better.
And as for Sarah, Judy says she's taking the kids with her when she goes pill hunting, and I could kick her ass for that. Yes, she needs to grow a spine and leave Chris and stop putting up with shit, and like me it has hurt her over the years, but taking her kids with her, and still, at times, trying to get stuff for Chris when the selfish bastard abuses her and treats her like shit...
THAT is why I also want her as my and maybe our lover, so I can voice up and put a foot in her ass if she ever tries that stupid shit again.
And the funny part, Judy today bringing up Sarah, calling me fat as an attack, then saying Sarah thinks I'm nasty, but little does she know that Sarah completely got satisfied on the couch she parks her ass on all day long before that couch even made it to this house, and spent about 20 mins giving me really great head, and wrapped herself around me on it, and that she is in love with me, but keeps up that stupid front as a cover, when she really needs to come clean about things. Judy needs a lesson in humility, and until she learn how to be more humble she won't be what I want, just what I can put up with and sometimes enjoy when I can ignore the shitty parts that I just can't stand.
Sarah fits, but we both have to ignore how we feel and what we want because of how it all is, but if that shit was gone, there is no doubt. I know, and she does, and there is solace in that, but only so much, and poor Sarah, with a big heart and conscience and so fucked up from Chris and his mom, and not knowing anything different. She just isn't secure or brave enough, but one day she will be, and I hope when that day comes she lets that love loose, because what she can do as a companion would be great given the right man to bring it out in her. Judy could as well, but until she comes down off that high lazy horse, she won't be someone I respect, and you can't always keep loving someone even if you do love them when you don't respect them.
Irony abounds....