Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I was just outside of the restaurant with Amanda there, and this African guy was there. He was a decent dude, and he assumed Amanda and I were a couple. I asked him why he though that and he said that we had one spirit. " Yooou ave uone spir-it. You loook like you be-long to eatch ouether." (I love that African accent) Then he complemented Amanda again on her baby and when he left gave Amanda $5 for the baby. He had some well grounded political views.
It does feel natural being around her, and it put me in a better mood all night.
I minded the girls today when Sarah and Judy went to the store, and had three girls and two dogs on top of me as I read some of Alex's old children's books to them.
I am meant to take care of women and be a father to kids.... I think I love the aspect and chance of being a father and father figure more than the desire for potential sexual benefits. I think that is a better reward anyway.
I can wack my own winkie if i have to, but nothing strokes my ego and makes me feel so good as having kids think I am a giant playground and hearing them laugh as kids should laugh. There is more than enough love inside of me to give all I am to any and all of these women and all the kids, and still have vast reserves. And with the love I get from them making me stronger, it would just blow their minds.
It is just as unexpected to me that I would feel so strongly about this being the best and right path, but I can debate well and be self-critical, and am a problem solver so much that this is it. This is how I must be to be happy and when I am happy and content I can give more than any man ever.
I have my own addiction... to being loving and romantic and caring and moral and decent and good as a human being. So what if the world think polagamy is weird or wrong. There are times when the weirdest thing is the most normal and right. This is that time.