I Just Know

I know what works......
I've loved quite a few women, all of them different in many ways... but the one thing they shared was a compassionate heart.
I've been married to Judy for 13 years, and have been with her for 19... she's 50 and I'm 47. We have a son who is 13 as well, and he's a blast...
But in my marriage my wife isn't quite enough. She's not nearly as sexual as I am, and often not as open. We have a friend named Sarah who is about 25 and has four girls, and she's been with the same asshole for over ten years. He's a shitty father, and verbally and emotionally abusive to her. I'm very attracted to her on many levels... I want to see our home and buy a small farm, and have her and her kids move in with my wife and son and I and make one big family.
They are friends and compliment each other perfectly. Sarah leans bisexual, and my wife doesn't have much interest in that, but they would make great lovers, to each other and with me.
Sarah has some attraction to me as well, and if I wasn't married and she was free we'd no doubt wind up together. My wife and Sarah both know that I want to have things like a Mormon, and my wife has come to accept that part of me.
Thing is I don't want two wives for the sex, even if it would be wild and wonderful, but for the relationship and family that would grow out of it. I'm so much better of a father figure than what those girls have now, and many nights Sarah comes over crying because he's such a dick to her. I just have to figure out some way to bring us all under one roof.
Sarah and Judy both have back pain, but when one is up the other is down, so together at least one is usually functioning, and the stresses of kids and housework can easily be taken up by the other, so there is a logic in them working and living together to run a house together.
Now naturally the idea of both of them in bed with me is amazing to me, but sex anyone can find... it is the companionship, romance, warmth that excites me.
And after keeping it shaved for so long I'd love to let my wild hair grow some, which makes sex not only an act of committed love but a recreational act just for fun's sake.
Then there's Amanda. She's with Josh, who is a real asshole and totally not right for her but Amanda is so blinded by need and hope that she keeps falling for his bullshit. Somehow I just don't see them lasting. Josh just doesn't seem concerned about her or like he has love for her. so if they are still together by Christmas it would amaze me.
Amanda reminds me so much of Julie in so many ways it's scary, but she is unique and timeless, ageless, and if it wasn't for the age between us man I'd pull that and love her into an ecstatic frenzy, making her spastic with passion and happiness. If I was single she'd be a first choice in a heartbeat. She is smart, motivated, and has a wisdom that once she gets a little more life experience she'd be so cool I'd drool. I wonder if she knows that I'm in love with her or why. We have 30 years between us but that would vanish in a heartbeat, and I also know there would be a bedroom chemistry that would just rock her world. I know I'm fatter, older and balder than what she would look at, unless she looks at me through my eyes and sees the fire I have for her.
If anything, I think a casual, loving affair would do us both a world of good. She would see what a man is supposed to be like and how love is supposed to be and I would find in her the love and warmth and appreciation that I've been missing for so long. We could have a secret world of escape where we both could have small segments of time where we were treated and loved like we dream of being and need for our own sanity and piece of mind. Also, physically I am so well matched to her. I can see what it would be like whenever I think about it. I know what she would feel like, taste like, feel like sleeping, and I mean actual sleeping together. After an hour or better of making her cum until she squirts and holds me tight panting, sweating, drenched and vibrating she gets off so good, I see her, can feel her clinging to my backside, latched on, or reverse that, her wrapped up my arms around her, feet over and under each other entwined, my nose behind her ear in her hair, softly telling her how beautiful she is as she and I drift off into peaceful sleep with more parts of us touching each other than the bedsheets. Sometimes you just know.
But I'm married and devoted to my son, so no matter if I have to take a lover for sanity's sake I have to find a way to make it work.
Seriously I think my wife needs to just go out and get laid, maybe find where she lost her wild hairs or start growing them again.... but apart for the desire for a swing element in our lives, the relationship I could share if we all three were together would be absolute heaven.
The thing to do would first to get Sarah away from her asshole and moved in with us. That is the primary thing because once that happens if would be evident that we all belong together. Judy and Sarah need to have working terms to share me, and I need the freedom to work and do what I need to to provide for them and the kids. Now if Amanda was there, I would wind up being a father for her child, which would be so easy for me, and she is so mature that she would see what I am like and how much better I am than any guy she knows, including being well equipped and suited to the job, so it would take motherhood so much easier than with some jerk-off more concerned about themselves.
Judy would be a great second mothers and love having a baby around to be a second mother to, and spend her time building a friendship and teaching Amanda everything she knows, and she is great at that. Amanda would have live in babysitter/caregiver/friend/companions and it would take the constant pressure of being a mother off of her, and at her age she would need some down time from it because she has other things she would be doing and missing if she always had to care for a kid 24/7. She maybe could go to college, and grow, and everyone would benefit in some ways because Amanda could contribute as well. Either Sarah or Amanda could fit that expanded relationship role, and it would work even better all four of us together because the house chores and duties could be rotated so it never felt like a burden to anyone, and the joys could be experienced without so much pressure, and while they have to share one man, if they can see past jealousy into a realm where the "other" people you live with are extensions of yourself, then the benefits of sharing someone who is not always up your ass (unless that is where you want them) all the time, so there is a level of closeness when you want and need it, always there when you need it, and there when you want it, and an ability to have your own space as well.
How could any of this not work? If say Amanda was with us, and her daughter was like two, and she had like 40 college credits to go and met a good guy at college, she could have the freedom to romance the guy and make sure he's right without the pressure of needing a guy because she has a lover already, and if it became where she wanted to move on she'd have the support of an extended family that just wants her to be happy, and Sarah could have that, too.
It isn't a romance or sexual second I want out of them, but the interest is there because I find them attractive, warm decent human beings that I am in love with for the right reasons. It is the companionship and friendship and kinship I want more than anything, and to fill the need of being a good male role model for those girls, including the unborn, (Amanda might be having a boy, but it something tells me it will be a girl) (and if it is a boy, then Alex can be "big brother" and would take to that role, although he'd be more of a cousin). But the main point is that whatever comes, whatever changes and changing circumstances may come, we'd all be doing it together.
So if Sarah or Amanda go to school, it would be like my sister or wife, or me, doing it. We all share in the life of each other, and if we are all looking out for each other, how could that not be great for everyone. I still have 30 years easy of dancing, laughing, swimming, playing before I slow down, and even then I'd be more active than most guys 20 years younger. My mindset now is like 25-30, and if I am made happy by being something very special to these beautiful women, I'd be on a steady mission to be my best.
And if they team up to make me happy like friends sharing do, and we could love as a group, I could see the passion explode because with all the walls down love makes the physical into a passion explosion, and even bad sex feels like great sex because the tenderness and love and knowing that you are appreciated is the most rewarding part of love anyway.
Judy, I love you
Sarah, I love you
Amanda, I love you
I could wake up to any one or combination of you every single day and give you more romance and tenderness and feeling of security and appreciation than if you all had two men each. I would be honest and considerate beyond anything you have ever known, and be the best father to every child around me without fail. I would hope that you all shared a great friendship that few only dream of, and together we could build our own private utopia.....
If I could only have them peak inside my mind and heart for just a second to understand what I see and why I want it......